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[17 May 2007|05:38pm] |
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So I'm done cegep. Forever. It's a really weird feeling knowing that I'm never going back. I'm kind of scared for McGill cause I've been slacking off so much for my last few tests and exams and I hope I will able to bring myself to work hard enough to get into med school after. I found out officially that I didn't get into premed, but I'm not really upset cause I pretty much already knew. I guess it's better off this way. University should be fun, even for someone in biochemistry.
I'm leaving for tomorrow for Jonquiere. I am excited and also nervous. I have no idea what to expect. It feels really unreal... like I don't feel like I am leaving. I'm really sad that all the girls are gonna be gone in the summer. We're all separated for almost the whole summer :( We'll just have to make our girls nights count.
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[06 May 2007|11:50pm] |
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I passes my requal!!! I kicked that pia carry's ass! It was so much easier and everything else wasn't stressful because I already knew what to do for them... and I was reassuring other ppl and telling them what to do to avoid the traps. I'm so happy. But I'm also exhausted so I'm gonna go to sleep :)
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[06 May 2007|11:12am] |
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I'm so happy school is almost over. All I have left is a bio test, an in class english essay, and two exams. The english essay is gonna be on either Fight Club or V for Vendetta (we watched them both in english), and I thought I would really wanna write it about Fight Club cause I'm obsessed, but I actually have a lot to say about V for Vendetta. We were discussing it in class and it's a really deep film! There's just so much in in that talks about political, freedom and human rights issues. And there's so much symbolism, especially with the character V. If you haven't seen it you really should. It's the kind of movie that really makes you think.
We just started the playoffs at soccer and my team (who was in 6th place out of 7 in the league) just won our first two playoff games. It was awesome!! Both times we tied and won in the shoot outs... it was so intense. And everyone on the team is playing so hard! We have one more game on tuesday and if we win, we win the playoffs. I'm so excited! I've never been on a team that's won playoff before. WE just have to really focus but I think we can do it.
My second time doing the nationals requal is tonight and I'm soo nervous. Everytime I think about it I get this sick feeling in my stomach... I'm really afraid I'm gonna fail again and I just don't wanna go through feeling as upset as I did last time. I'm scared.
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[21 Apr 2007|04:06pm] |
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The nice weather keeps putting me in a really good mood. Everywhere I go I am just smiling cause its so nice out! I finally got to wear flip flops and my pretty new silver ballerina shoes. I am a little obsessed with shoes this year. I bought 6 pairs of flip flops and 2 pairs of flat shoes. But they are so pretty!
So today I went with my mom to practice for the next nationals requal (she was my victim) and I used a different technique for the drowning nonswimmer that I didn't think I could do but is actually a lot easier. And I asked one of the lifeguards that I know at dollard to watch me do it and she said it was fine. But I am still gonna keep working on my eggbeater. I did 10 laps of it with the 5 pound brick and I'm gonna try to go as much as I can in the next week. I also saw my old instructor teachers and I told them that I failed. When I told them who the guy was they were saying how he is such a dick and how they tried to get away from him for their requals but couldn't cause he is everywhere. So that makes me feel so much better... I thought I was the only one that hated him.
Anyways, I am in such a good mood this weekend! My bio test is over even though I have another one in two weeks and lots of hw, but I think I might actually have gotten a decent mark. And in less than 4 weeks I will be in jonquiere! and it will be summer :)
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[16 Apr 2007|04:52pm] |
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I'm writing this entry to make myself feel better about the stupid jerk that taught my nationals requal. This is a guy that I know cause he works at dollard pool teaching things like bronze and organizing staff trainings and I worked there. And he also was the evaluator when I did my nationals exam. He was nice then! Anyways... he was such an ass whole. The whole time he'd be really rude to people and was really anal about everything. And he got mad at us cause we didn't bring certain things to the requal, but we were supposed to get an email about it and no one did. And he's all like "I don't feel bad for you guys cause it says clearly on the website" but I checked and I can't even find what he was talking about. And it wasn't just cause this was the first requal for all of us and we weren't used to it. There were a bunch of ppl who had already had one and were complaining too.
Anyways, I was sick still and I had considered not going incase I wouldn't be able to swim but then I went cause I have always been really good with the physical part of the tests. But, I failed, so I shouldn't have wasted my time. I could have been studying, but no, I had to go spend 5 painful hours of intense workout to fail the course. Everytime we would do something strenuous I would have a coughing fit. At one point I had to tell the person I was a victim for that my coughing wasn't part of the thing I had to act out. So anyways, I couldn't do a pia carry, which is the kind of rescue you do when there is a drowning non swimmer, and you have too keep their head and shoulders out of the water at all times. I did it 3 times and I guess I didn't meet his standards. I don't know if it was cause I was sick or he is just an anal jerk, but I was under the impression that not everything had to be perfect. Even when you do nationals, you are allowed to get a few marks of "weak" on certain skills. I don't know. All I know is that I left there crying. I don't want to sound like a baby, but when you do 5 hours of physically demanding rescues, are left with bruises on your shins from climbing in and out of the pool, and had been nervous the whole time about being good enough, you get pretty emotional.
So anyways, I have to take the requal again but guess what? The only place that I can take it before I go to Jonquiere is with him again! Fantastic. And it's true, I could be in a little better shape. I used to swim and do lengths of eggbeater every week and now I haven't for a while. My legs are really sore today. But what if I can't get back in shape by the time I have to do it. It's may 6 so I only have a few weeks. And if I fail it again, I think I have to redo the whole course. And I wouldn't be able to work at Redwood if that happened.
But I'm also really upset and pissed off at that guy, and I really wanted to be able to take it somewhere else to see if everyone was like him. Because if I was wrong and they are all really supposed to be that strict then it will at least give me peace of mind. But now I'm just so angry that he can be so unfair. UGhhhh!
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[28 Mar 2007|11:07pm] |
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Biology sucks.
I am sitting at home with nothing to do (except my homework), waiting for my Dad to get home so he can help me with a chem question. I want to go to sleep. But lately I haven't even been able to sleep because my sleep schedule is so out of whack. I'm so tired in the morning yet I cant sleep at night!
Life sucks and then you die. That's how I feel right now. School sucks. I'm just depressed about the homework I have to do. I'm so tired of school. This coming from a person that has about 5-7 more years of it. I'm just feeling really unmotivated now and I keep watching tv instead of doing my homework. I've been watching a lot of tv.
I'm so mad I took my bio teacher. Fucking bio teacher! She's insane... no other class has to work this hard. This is a really stupid entry because it's just me complaining about school, but I have nothing else to say. Oh well.
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[17 Mar 2007|11:07am] |
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Yesterday I was all depressed cause I pretty much failed my bio test and I was really stupid in front of the whole class, and then a bunch of us were supposed to go to Clyde's but then all these fights started (I'm not blaming anyone) and I thought the rest of the night was gonna suck, but we ended up going and it was really fun! Me and Lauren shared 2 pitchers and we got pretty smashed. We went back to Santo's after but I don't think I've ever been so hyper before when I've been drunk. The whole night I was smiling and laughing at everything. It was so fun!
Funny things- "Are you squeamish about intercourse?"
- Saying hello to a stranger in the bathroom
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[08 Mar 2007|09:16pm] |
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I've been having a good march break so far, but mostly that is because I haven't opened a book yet to do homework. I don't actually have that much work, but it's kind of bad that I haven't done anything yet. And since we're going to the cottage this weekend I'm kinda screwed. Oh well.
I got into concordia and mcgill in biochem, but I was kind of expecting it. What I really want to hear back from is the premed application. I'm starting to get my hopes up and its really bad because I really don't have a much of a chance of getting in. I went to a bio lab for my lab project for two days. 15 hours in all and it was very tiring, and very complicated. Kind of interesting I guess, but it was a little over our heads. Most of the time we were working with the master students who were pretty much babysitting us. They tried to explain stuff to us and we even did experiments, but there's only so much we can understand and we were basically in their way. We also talked to them a lot about future studies. Some of them have applied to med school this year, and I realized that if I get into med school I will be with a lot of people that have done so much more schooling than me, from undergrad students to master students. Thats 3-6 years more. It kinda freaks me out, but then I'm probably not gonna get in so I don't have to worry.
I am coaching special olympics swimmers at the civic center every week now, and it's really fun. There's this one girl and she's soo cute! She always asks me if she's doing good in such an excited voice! I also got offered a job to give private lessons to her by her mom, but I had to say no cause I don't have time for anything else.
Anyways, excited for the cottage tomorrow!!!
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[10 Feb 2007|07:57pm] |
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I am taking my last teaching course for swimming lessons now and it's going really well so far. The teachers are so good and it is really fun, but it's hard cause I have the 3 hour class on saturday, then soccer saturday night, then the 5 hour stage sunday morning. I've been slacking with my homework on the weekends cause I hardly have time and cause I'm just so tired from all the activities. Working as a swimming teacher is really tiring, but I love it. I really enjoy doing it. I was thinking the other day that I wish I could just work for free and call it volunteering (I need to volunteer for med school) cause it's what I enjoy the most. So today I was talking to the instructor cause he was in bio in university and I was asking him questions, and he says there are special olympics swimming classes at dollard with mostly ppl who have down syndrome, and they are looking for coaches. It's perfect cause it's volunteer and I love teaching! Anyways I am gonna go check it out on Thursday.
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[30 Jan 2007|07:44pm] |
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So I applied to mcgill and concordia in biochem and I've been freaking out for the past few days. I'm scared that it's gonna be too hard and my gpa won't be high enough and I won't get into med school, or that I won't be interested in it and hate all my classes. I'm scared university is gonna be really hard and I will have to give up all my free time. Plus I have to be doing extra curricular activites to get into med school, plus I can't change my major drastically because I have to do the whole bachelor's degree in 3 years, like I can't take an extra semester if I need an extra class or else I won't be accepted to med school. People keep telling me to take something I might like better like art or something and just get a minor in chem so that I can still go to med school, but what else would I do? What do I like? There isn't anything. I think I like biochem. I am interested in my bio 2 class which is all biochem, and I liked organic, but I also have to do analytical chem in the biochem program which is like acids/bases and titrations, valence theories, kinetics, thermodynamics, all the stuff from my 2 previous chem courses that I didn't really like. And look at me now... I can't even do any homework without procrastinating till the last minute. How am I gonna survive university and get good enough marks?
All of this information was going through my head in the span of 15 seconds and I was freaking out all day yesterday. I hope I am making the right choice. I know I will get into the program because my crc is high enough, and I definitely want to go to mcgill. The campus is sooo pretty.
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[15 Jan 2007|06:47pm] |
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So today was the first day back in school and it went pretty well. I am very happy with my schedule. I got basically everything I wanted (for the first time ever!) and I'm excited for some of my classes. Today I started at 10 and ended at 2:30 and most of my other days end really early too (though I start at 8:30 every other day). I have forensic chem today and it was really interesting. We talked about all the things in csi that were real and all the things that were fake. Everyone used to tell me that a lot of the machines and chemical processes they used were made up but it's actually not true. All the things they have are real, although some of them are too expensive for most labs, but we're actually going to be doing a lot of the things on csi in our labs. I'm so excited! I am a huge csi fan and am also really interested in forensics. The things fake about csi are things like it taking a few weeks or a month to process a dna sample, not two hours. And also how the csi's don't do all the jobs, like working in the field, in the lab, and interviewing the suspects. And how they have to wear hair nets and big outfits so as not to contaminate the crime scene, not tiny tank tops and high heals.
I had a lot of fun in Panama and got to learn a bunch of spanish so i took spanish as my complementary and i had the first class today. The teacher's really nice and it seems like it's gonna be fun. I had math too and my teacher's good, but I have a feeling linear is gonna be boring. I am also taking bio 2 with a good but hard teacher, french (blech, and english with my favorite teacher. I think this is gonna be a really good semester.
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[20 Dec 2006|06:48pm] |
I'm done all my exams and everything but I'm not quite as happy as I thought I would be. Maybe cause it hasn't hit me yet, but I just feel tired. I really killed myself studying these last 2 weeks, and I think the whole process has wiped me out. I also don't think I did that good and it's kinda depressing me.
Oh well, maybe things will pick up tomorrow.
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[10 Dec 2006|01:28pm] |
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I went to see my bro's orchestra concert yesterday and it was really good. A few of the songs were so nice, and a few were really long and boring, but they had Christmas music at the end. When it started, I was actually sitting in the audience with this huge smile on my face the whole time. I love Christmas music! It's so happy. My brother, who's a musical genius, is in this orchestra playing the violin. It's pretty hard to get into, and now that he's started to play the trumpet also, the conductor is letting him play some pieces on the trumpet just like that. That's how good he is. So during the concert he had to switch spots sometimes, to go from sitting in the violin section to the trumpet section. I'd look away for two seconds and all of a sudden he'd be gone and I'd be like "where'd he go?" to my mom and he just be sitting in the other section like he'd never moved. It was like magic lol.
This weekend was fun considering I did everything except my homework and now I am so screwed. I don't know what's wrong with me this year but I've been procrastinating so much more than usual and only doing stuff at the last minute. I have a week and a half left and I am done everything but I don't know how I'm going to survive.
I'm going to my Grandmother's tonight for a Hanukkah dinner even though it's not Hanukkah yet, or maybe it is lol I'm not even sure. But we are doing it now in any case because my Grandmother is going away soon. I'm so excited for latkes! I love this time of the year, with Christmas lights everywhere, and the gift giving. It makes me so happy :)
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[02 Dec 2006|02:19pm] |
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The last week has been so crazy, I'm so glad its over. I had chem test and I didn't really study enough in advance, so I was cramming in the last 3 days before the test, staying up late and getting up early. My eye always twiches when I don't get enough sleep or when I am stressed out but it reached the point where it's past twitching and just really hurts. It seems to happen every time I have a chem test. I think I did ok though.
If I look at my situation optimistically, I can say that there is only 3 weeks left and I'm done, but if I look pessimistically (which I usually do), I realize that I am going to die in the next few weeks. I'm not even gonna attempt to write down all I have to do. I'm just happy that chems over cause that's the one that I really care about getting a good mark.
I have to do a presentation is gym class with a group on monday, and my group chose to present karate cause a girl in our group is a black belt. So today we went to her studio and she showed us all the things we're gonna be presenting so we can correct the class and stuff, and we actually went through all the things the class is gonna be doing and it was quite a workout. It was fun though, and then she did this crazy demo, it was so cool. It makes me wish I had stuck to karate when I was young so that I could do all the cool things now. I was involved in all kinds of activities when I was a kid, but I never stuck to one, so I'm not good at anything lol. I mean I love soccer but I kinda suck. I am good at swimming and I could be really good, but I don't have time to devote myself to it. I have musical talent, but I quit the flute and piano cause I don't have time to practice. My goal is to get really good at salsa, cause I really enjoy it, but it's gonna take a while.
This was kind of a pointless entry I just havent updated in so long, I felt like I had to write something. Oh well, now to go back to my stupid physics homework. I am so glad I am finishing my last physics course and will never have to do one again. I hate physics!
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[02 Nov 2006|12:29am] |
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I love my salsa class! Every time after the class I am so happy. Its so much fun! Now that I am at the intermediate level the moves we are learning are soo cool. Especially the couple dancing. There are no actual couples in the class, we all stand in a circle and switch partners like every 5 mins or wtv. I am actually pretty good at it. Basically for a girl to be good, you have to learn to follow and do these cool hand movements. I'm good at following but if the guy doesn't know what he's doing I get confused. When I dance with the teacher I am fine though. The teacher is so amazing! He's such a funny person and he always makes all these great jokes. I'm so glad I found this class. I go with my mom even though she does the guys part for my class because she is in the advanced class. I wish I had people to go to salsa clubs with though, but I don't even think I'm good enough yet.
Yeah so that was a random entry, I just got back from the class and I am so happy I had to talk about it.
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[18 Oct 2006|06:12pm] |
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Today I almost fell asleep driving home. I skipped bio because I couldn't stay awake in english and I knew I wouldn't be able to handle bio (my teacher is so boring). I came home and slept for two hours. I've had a mild cold for two weeks and maybe I'm tired because of that? But then again I have been going to bed late every night because I'm reading a really good book and I can't put it down. Actually it's a series and I just finished it :(. I don't know if anyone's heard of them, the first ones called dead until dark, but they are soooo good!
I joined a soccer league, but I went to try out and the fields are inside so they are smaller and we played 7 aside instead if 11, and I was so disoriented about the positions and the size of the field and I played so badly. But the coordinator person is finding me a team so I guess I will get used to it eventually.
I finished the first level of my salsa class and my teacher told everyone that we were good enough to go to slasa clubs! But I have no salsa friends... except my mom lol. I am starting the intermediate class next week. It's so fun!
There is a fucking huge spider on the floor and I smashed it with a kleenex box. It's really freaking me out!
Anyways, my life is boring, so I will go do my homework.
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[05 Oct 2006|05:23pm] |
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Today is like the happiest day of my life!!!! I had my physics test and almost all my homework is over! Over!!! Basically I have 3 science classes and 3 tests in the semester in each class. I just had my first 3 so there will be a break until the next 3 start. Even though it's only for a few weeks, any time is worth it! I do have an english assignment to finish tonight and my chem lab write up to do for tomorrow, but it's so not anything compared to what I've been doing in the last couple of weeks. I'm so happy.
Me and Sinthuya are the biggest ditzes in chem labs. Today we fucked ours up so badly. The teacher actually thinks we are morons. In organic chem, basically all your labs are geared towards producing a certain solid with a high level of purity and a mass that's close to the predicted value. We made aspirin, which is pretty cool. It's so shiny in powder form! So first we were filtering the solution and we asked the teacher how to dry the solid cause it was a different way than usual, and he's like "you throw the solid out, it's the liquid u want. Don't you even pay attention in class?" Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal but if u were in organic you'd know how stupid it is. And then when we were doing the second filtration we forgot to plug the machine in and it got so fucked up, and then sinthuya was trying to fix it and knocked a grad cylinder onto the floor lol. After so many mistakes we were just like "fuck it" and we didn't care. In the end, suprisingly our melting point was pretty accurate (that's how you know if its pure) and our percent yield was low, but our teacher said that's normal cause its a hard lab.
Look at this, all my journals ever talk about is school. I'm such a science nerd.
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[28 Sep 2006|08:12pm] |
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The last two weeks have killed me. I've had to stop myself from bursting into tears almost every night this week when I realized all I had to do. The big things I had were a chem test and bio test, but so much other stuff too. I can't figure out if it's always this hard but because it's been so long I forgot what it's like, or that it's just a harder semester. I think maybe it is harder because of organic chem. There's so much work for that class. There's an assignment every week, and a lab to prepare for which are so hard. You really have to do everything before or else you get confused and stressed out during the lab. They're 3 hours but honestly I would be happy if they were 4 hours. I never have time to finish and they are so long. That's why the write up has do be done before because there's no time in the lab to do it. Everything is so complicated and you basically need to go see the teacher before in his office for him to explain everything to you. His office hours are mondays and tuesdays and the lab is thursday so I never have a chance to go because I am always too caught up in my other work. Like I wish he had office hours wednesday, when I am preparing for the lab.
Basically now I do everything only the day before it is due because there is just too much work to do it in advance. Like there are just no breaks when I can be like "oh better start this while I have the time". My marks are suffering from it. It's just too hard. I don't know what else to do. Especially those lab marks, because my teacher is so strict about them, he'll take off marks for everything. He is a really good teacher but he expects you to do a lot of work, and a lot of it on your own.
I'm just really discourage right now, for school because I feel like I won't be able to handle it in university when things get harder and I have to be volunteering as well. And I was just thinking about it, all my life I've gotten really good marks, top of my class kinda thing and I was sure I would be able to get into medical school, that I would try so hard and be able to do it, but what if I don't get in? Only 80 ppl from all over canada get into the mcgill medical school. Those odds are bad, considering I don't exactly have top marks. And it's not like I am really good in an interview either, or that I've done anything special. But what else would I do with my life? I've had this idea in my head since I was 5, how can I do something else? And I still have no idea what kinda major I want to choose in university.
I went to my flute lesson today and it was the worst lesson of my life. It was so discouraging and deppressing, plus I fucked up my lab today and left part of it blank cause the chem teacher kicked us out when it was over. So basically I had a really bad day.
On the bright side, things are gonna slow down for a bit (I think :S) even though I have a physics test and a humanities test next week, but wtv its physics. I can't wait for the girls to come over and work on the dvd tomorrow!! Honestly, it's what kept me going this week. I would come home and watch certain parts just so I could survive the night. I'm so proud of it!!!
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[23 Sep 2006|08:22pm] |
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Last week was so hectic because of my chem test which I studied my ass off for. It went ok I think, but now I have to worry about my bio test wednesday. I have 28 pages of notes to memorize so I said I'd do in 7 a day but today I just couldn't finish. I was so tired cause I got home at 2 last night and had to get up early for a blood test. I tried to study but I was just too tired, yet I couldn't sleep. I spent most of the day lying in my bed thinking about nothing, until I finally fell asleep at 3. So my day feels so bla and tiring. U know when u just accomplish nothing all day and u lie around feeling useless the whole time? Finally I studied, and might do something with Lauren later that will hopefully raise me out of this low.
Mcgill came to Abott this week so I went to ask questions and it turns out that really nothing I do now in Cegep matters. I was so stressed about volunteering and taking certain courses but apparently all I need is to have a high enough CRC to get into the program I want. I want to do a bachelors in science at Mcgill and then apply to the medical school there. But basically all I need now is a 25.5 CRC to get into science. And the woman said that it doesn't matter how many ppl they take. Like they could have 100 or 700. For certain programs like microbiology where its a fixed amount of ppl it matters, but I don't want to do anything like that. So to get into medical school I don't need to do anything now. Like what matters is my marks in university and my volunteering then. And it doesn't even need to be volunteering. I just have to show that I can handle school and extra curricular activities. I was also worried about taking my science options in cegep. Like I thought I had to take specific courses like organic 1 and 2, bio 2, but I really don't. The woman said I might have to redo them anyway. So I am already taking organic now but next semester I want to take things like forensic chem and human genetics, if they are not filled up too fast. For my bachelors degree, I still don't know what to choose but she said that I can change it as many times as I want. I don't even have to major in science. As long as I get the required courses (a minor in science) then I can do art or anything. But I think I want to stick to science. I was thinking psychology would be cool. Or anatomy. Ionno.
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[02 Sep 2006|02:09pm] |
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Last night me, Tanya, Lauren, Vanessa, and Lauren's friend Tanya went to La Ronde for the 18+ party. It started at 9 and you got to go on the rides at night and drink beer and stuff. It was sooo fun! We got there at like 9:30 and we didn't realize there would be so much traffic. It was bumper to bumber and really slow moving for so long to get the the parking lot. There were so many people! There was this one car where all the people were dancing and waving their arms around really crazily lol.
We ended up only going on 4 rides cause we waited in really long lines, but we went on the goliath first, which was so amazing! I forgot how good it is. The whole time I actually was just hysterically laughing cause it was so fun and I had tears in my eyes at the end. We were really hyper the whole time and acting so stupid. Lauren's friend Tanya is really fun also.
After most of the rides a few of us had some beers and then went on the bumber cars. When we were waiting in line (it was a long lineup) everywhere we looked there were people smoking up. Maybe I would have done it for bumper cars but I can't imagine going in roller coasters stoned. I would have a heart attack! AS it is I didn't go on anything drastic after I had drank a little cause I was afraid of getting sick.When we went on, all of us were just spinning in a circle the whole time. I was so dizzy when it was finished.
La Ronde closed at 5 am so we left at 4 so as not to get stuck in the traffic but apparently everyone had that idea and we actually waited for and hour and a half just getting out of La Ronde. We sat in the car blasting spice girls and singing. Lauren and Vanessa were actually screaming it was so funny. WE also got lost finding the highway so by the time we got home it was like 6:30 and Tanya had to leave with her family to go to Ottawa at 7! We watched the sun rise it was so cool. Anyways, it was a really good night, even though we were up all night and I slept all day today lol.
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